I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
