it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
