exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
