somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
