"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
