If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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