Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
