please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
