mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The best revenge is premature balding
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
