Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
