Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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