I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
its not stalking. its research.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
