Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
