Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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