I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
