i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
