its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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