"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
