I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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