That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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