Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this beer tastes like vomit already
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
