I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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