I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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