Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
