need another drink. this is the easiest way
Small penises have feelings too.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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