i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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