I wish I could punch you in the face.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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