K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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