I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
