Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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