I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
