last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize