I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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