You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
