Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I need to sanitize my soul.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
