Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
