I'd wear matching sweaters with you
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
