Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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