she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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