Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My first STD was from a foam party
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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