I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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