yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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