Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
