I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have fence marks all over my body
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
