I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
