i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All the doctor said was why
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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