then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I love you. Go after that dick
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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