I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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