and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
