I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
