she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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