So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
