i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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