im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
