Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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