Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Terrible idea I love it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
