If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
