Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
