i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
