I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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